Thread Monsters and a very sensible post

Slimmy, scary and ugly – these are the few descriptions I could effortlessly blurt out once describing a thread monster comes my way. They are the forum kooks, the perpetual antagonists, the colonial bummer, the internet troll, the rebel without a cause, the posters who likely never knew, or read, the posting guidelines.

Consider this comment from a poster who obviously loves Marky Cielo to death! Haha!

grabe nman pagka gus2 nyo kay marky cielo!! hndi sha ang pnakamagaling na
nadiscover na male sa SS noh!!! may talent nga sha per0 tngnan nyo nman ang
face!!! ig0rot na ig0r0t ang dating dba??!!! im sorry kung may matamaan.........
hndi ko na kc matiis na mbasa ang mga papuri nyo kay marky!!! sa 22o lang, sha
ang pnakapangit na napasali sa SS!!! 4sure napilitan lang c jen na mkipagkiss sa
kanya!! no choice ehh!!!!!!!!!!

And dig this bitter and insecure hathor lambasting about Jen without even getting the facts right:

what the heck are u talking about? beautiful??????????? papatawa yata kau...d
naman kagandahan un...nilalangaw movies...nilalangaw pa pati album nya..buti pa
c sandara marami fans...marami endorsement...

And I remember a poster who meddled with other harsh and insecure posters with this statement:

ssheda!

gusto niyo gawin ko kayong flying ipis!?! - - - kayong mga hathor!?!

SA enca, ang hathor ang laging natatalo kahit sila ang palaging umaatake...

same rin dito sa thread na to...ang daming hathor na gustong matigok!

Sound familiar? Those insecure comments are rampant, so rampant are they that I'm not surprise to see one of their posts in any thread I’m going. They are posters who’s faces spelled trouble and who’s mouth are big enough to consume their whole body. They are posters who needs to consult a psychiatrist…or, they just need to go to the doctors since it’s been days that they are afraid of sunlight and water. Their slime stinks all over, and their scary faces and sharp fangs are the worst in this lifetime…and oh, did I mention they haven’t taken a bath for months?

That’s how horrible they are.

So if you see one of them cowering in a thread, here are sure-fire tips I could muster for the time.

a. Offer a prayer for them. Their souls are lost and it isn’t bad to save a soul through prayer, right? You can offer masses for them, or do spiritual warfare against them.

b. Do what a pioneer artista would do - Skip them. You are too precious to stoop to their level.

c. Say – World Peace. World Peace. World Peace. World Peace. World Peace. World Peace.

d. Get a slice bread. Lagyan ng palaman – ketchup, then mix it up with brown sugar. Kainin at namnamin. Kitams? Na-divert ang attention mo! It works! It works!

e. Call the police for immediate rescue.

f. Offer them a tranquilizer.

g. Declare an Internet State of Emergency

h. Close your eyes and remember: monsters are satan’s allies to take away your peace. Smile and holler – Hang Ganda koh suuuper, sureness akoh paglake ko I’ll beh ei Miss Universe! Bongga-cious, I’m su xcited!

Or you can do what I usually do:

I take a deep breath. Stretch my legs and hands a little bit. Play a background music. Swerve my hips to the left and right. Left and right. Gracefully left and right. Leftright, until the steps looked every inch to that of a dancing chicken, lol. With the background music smashing…I go with the music and dig it’s lyrics

Todotorot…torot…todododorot…

Todotorot…torot…

Ghostbuster!

Funny what a human spirit does to control irritation.