Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Thread Monsters and a very sensible post

Slimmy, scary and ugly – these are the few descriptions I could effortlessly blurt out once describing a thread monster comes my way. They are the forum kooks, the perpetual antagonists, the colonial bummer, the internet troll, the rebel without a cause, the posters who likely never knew, or read, the posting guidelines.

Consider this comment from a poster who obviously loves Marky Cielo to death! Haha!
grabe nman pagka gus2 nyo kay marky cielo!! hndi sha ang pnakamagaling na
nadiscover na male sa SS noh!!! may talent nga sha per0 tngnan nyo nman ang
face!!! ig0rot na ig0r0t ang dating dba??!!! im sorry kung may matamaan.........
hndi ko na kc matiis na mbasa ang mga papuri nyo kay marky!!! sa 22o lang, sha
ang pnakapangit na napasali sa SS!!! 4sure napilitan lang c jen na mkipagkiss sa
kanya!! no choice ehh!!!!!!!!!!

And dig this bitter and insecure hathor lambasting about Jen without even getting the facts right:
what the heck are u talking about? beautiful??????????? papatawa yata kau...d
naman kagandahan un...nilalangaw movies...nilalangaw pa pati album nya..buti pa
c sandara marami fans...marami endorsement...

And I remember a poster who meddled with other harsh and insecure posters with this statement:

ssheda!
gusto niyo gawin ko kayong flying ipis!?! - - - kayong mga hathor!?!
SA enca, ang hathor ang laging natatalo kahit sila ang palaging umaatake...
same rin dito sa thread na to...ang daming hathor na gustong matigok!

Sound familiar? Those insecure comments are rampant, so rampant are they that I'm not surprise to see one of their posts in any thread I’m going. They are posters who’s faces spelled trouble and who’s mouth are big enough to consume their whole body. They are posters who needs to consult a psychiatrist…or, they just need to go to the doctors since it’s been days that they are afraid of sunlight and water. Their slime stinks all over, and their scary faces and sharp fangs are the worst in this lifetime…and oh, did I mention they haven’t taken a bath for months?

That’s how horrible they are.

So if you see one of them cowering in a thread, here are sure-fire tips I could muster for the time.

a. Offer a prayer for them. Their souls are lost and it isn’t bad to save a soul through prayer, right? You can offer masses for them, or do spiritual warfare against them.

b. Do what a pioneer artista would do - Skip them. You are too precious to stoop to their level.
c. Say – World Peace. World Peace. World Peace. World Peace. World Peace. World Peace.

d. Get a slice bread. Lagyan ng palaman – ketchup, then mix it up with brown sugar. Kainin at namnamin. Kitams? Na-divert ang attention mo! It works! It works!

e. Call the police for immediate rescue.

f. Offer them a tranquilizer.

g. Declare an Internet State of Emergency

h. Close your eyes and remember: monsters are satan’s allies to take away your peace. Smile and holler – Hang Ganda koh suuuper, sureness akoh paglake ko I’ll beh ei Miss Universe! Bongga-cious, I’m su xcited!

Or you can do what I usually do:

I take a deep breath. Stretch my legs and hands a little bit. Play a background music. Swerve my hips to the left and right. Left and right. Gracefully left and right. Leftright, until the steps looked every inch to that of a dancing chicken, lol. With the background music smashing…I go with the music and dig it’s lyrics

Todotorot…torot…todododorot…

Todotorot…torot…

Ghostbuster!


Funny what a human spirit does to control irritation.

44 Comments:

At 2:23 AM, Blogger belle said...

hoy!!!!!whoever you are check your grammar!!most of it are wrooooooong!!tagalog mo lng ang naintndihan ko eh!!maninira ka na nga mali-mali pa???ang kapal din ng mukha mo noh para sabihin mo na nilalangaw ang movie at album ni jen???ano ka superstar!!manigas ka!!i'm a 100% sure na puwit k lng ni jennylyn!!!ugali mo palang ang pangit-pangit na lalo na kaya ang mukha mo!!and it's very obvious na ambisyosa ka!miss universe?????puhlease!!!at least noh si jen may true filipina beauty!!!eh yang sandara mo na yan na ang oa-oa walang panama kay jennylyn!!!and for your information yang sandara ang minamagots ang movie at album!!!so just SHUT UP and go back where you belong!!!!do you understand?bumalik ka dun sa minamagots mong sandara!

 
At 9:05 AM, Blogger mia said...

belle, di mo yata na gets ang post ni deidre. she was actually citing examples of posts that were against jen (or other artists) na sobrang off. siguro if you read the previous posts you'll figure that deidre is more than a 100% jen fan, like you and i. i can attest to that. cool lang belle. :D

 
At 9:12 AM, Blogger deirdre the miscreant said...

belle, paki-edit nalang ng post ko...I'm just a writer and not an editor. Maybe I need you to correct my grammar.

But definitely, if I am Jen i would cringe at the way you defend me. Cool lang, you want sandwich with a palaman of ketchup and brown sugar?

 
At 4:24 PM, Blogger macie said...

belle, samahan sa duyan si zanjoe and chill ;)

 
At 4:52 PM, Blogger mia said...

uy, chill!

sama ako dyan!

 
At 5:24 PM, Blogger deirdre the miscreant said...

sino si zanjoe?

 
At 3:09 AM, Blogger belle said...

i'm very very sorry sa sinabi ko!!! d ko kasi binasa lhat e!!nbsa ko lng ang prt na yung nilalangaw dw ang you knw wat!!so nghesterical ako agad !d ko na talaga binasa lht !!kc sa sobrang ins ko la na kong ibng naisip kundi insultuhin ka!! at d lng ins galit tlga ako!!yun!ngsusulat na ko ng kng ano-ano!sory tlga kung nsaktan ka sa mga sinabi ko!i feel so embarrass!!!i'm really sori deirdre!!sori talaga!!sori for a million times!!nakkainis naman kc ung pinopost nila eh!!d kba napanganga ng mabasa mo un??napainom ako eh!!mga epal tlga yng fans ng minamagots na sandara na yn!!

 
At 8:36 AM, Blogger deirdre the miscreant said...

belle, it's fine...don't worry. At first I was really shocked reading your comment. In grade four we had a test wherein the number one policy is to read all the instructions before answering. Yung mga classmates ko eh di nagbasa ng buong instruction at nag-answer agad...zero sila kasi at the end of the instruction it was written that you should NOT write ANYTHING on your paper. So there.

I hope you learned something from what you did. Also, it's no longer an issue to carry on with sandara. di na sya ka-level ni jen ngayon...let that issue be buried.

Again, I'm glad that you realized what you did and said you're sorry. Continue supporting Jen and thanks for reading my piece here.

God bless you belle.

 
At 11:45 AM, Blogger macie said...

Deidre, si Zanjoe ay isa sa mga Pinoy Big Brother housemates. Known sya for the word "chill" at laging tulog sa duyan

model din sya ng Bench. hunk pero may boyish charm. in short, crush ko sya. hehehe

 
At 12:42 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

thanks dierdre 4 accepting my apology!!!ay nakakahiya!!!uso pala ang test na ganyan noh !!nangyari din kc sa kin yan eh!!big fat 0 ang kuha ko!!thanks talaga ahh!pgktapos ng lht ng png-iinsulto ko nakuha mo paring sabihin "it's fine"kinain ko na lht ng cnabi ko!!
ur so kind!!!thanks again!!i learn a lot!!!godblessyoutoo!!!!("_")

 
At 8:24 AM, Blogger deirdre the miscreant said...

macie, kaya pala na-mention mo si zanjoe here kasi crush mo pala. Si MArk Herras crush mo rin?
Joke lang...Chill! lol!

belle, bakit naging anonymous kana? hahah! I'm glad oks na tayo. Visit ka dito ulit ha? And promised me to interplay with my posts...Oks ba? Chill!

lol!

Thanks guys. You made my day.

 
At 10:08 AM, Blogger mia said...

world peace :D

 
At 10:20 AM, Anonymous cathy said...

^ can i add?

World peace and a lot of ice cream!

fave ko! hahaha!

 
At 10:26 AM, Blogger mia said...

mommy cathy, is that you?

when we have that party, ako taya sa ice cream

yung local ice cream store near our house has this new variant, vanilla ice cream with real strawberry bits

super yummy!

 
At 10:48 AM, Blogger mia said...

i just realized that cathy could be anne catherine

pano na ang ice cream?

 
At 11:52 AM, Blogger deirdre the miscreant said...

^ hahaha!

wrong number ka mia?

Hi Anne Catherine...aka ACP!

 
At 11:58 AM, Blogger mia said...

malay ka ba?

so si mommy cathy nga ang cathy?

very probable ang ice cream party!

belat ACP! lol!

 
At 12:59 PM, Anonymous cathy said...

oist! si acp ito!

 
At 1:00 PM, Anonymous cathy said...

yay! fave ice-cream ko ang vanilla!

mia, punta ka dito sa cebu this saturday?

today at 3pm nasa gbox si jen (robinson's cebu)

 
At 1:19 PM, Blogger mia said...

ayan, na confuse na tuloy ako

cathy ka pa kase dyan!

pinag iisipan ko pa kung sasama ako sa cebu

mas gusto ko yata sumama sa album tour

 
At 1:23 PM, Blogger mia said...

wait lang ... 3pm on saturday pa ang event ni jen sa cebu

hala! pati calendar confused na!

 
At 2:46 PM, Anonymous ACP said...

mia sa poster kasi march 13 nakalagay. Diba today ang march 13?

 
At 3:02 PM, Blogger mia said...

hindi kaya namali ka ng tingin and mistook 13 for 18? :D

 
At 5:06 PM, Anonymous acp said...

di me sure mia. ewan...

hehehhe!

 
At 8:45 AM, Anonymous acp said...

mia sa fanatext ni jen sa saturday daw. baka na out-of-coverage-area lang ang brain ko. haha!

 
At 10:36 AM, Blogger mia said...

baliw!

 
At 10:53 AM, Anonymous acp said...

^ nagmana lang sa...sayo!

haha!

 
At 11:07 AM, Blogger mia said...

hindi na naman tayo matatapos sa kabaliwan nyan, LOL

 
At 1:22 PM, Anonymous acp said...

walang katapusang kabaliwan ba to?

wwwwwaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!

 
At 9:32 PM, Blogger mae said...

ba parang thread na d2 ahh!!!!!

c belle nga pala 2 pinalitan ko lng dsply name ko!!pano kc tama bng kalimutan ang username!!!hahahaaha

 
At 5:37 PM, Anonymous acp said...

hi belle! hehe...este, hi mae!

parang thread na nga dito.

all because of deirdre the baliw a.k.a. mia!

hahahah! huli!

 
At 2:54 PM, Blogger mia said...

belle,

ikaw ba si bellady_mae sa pex?

 
At 10:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

huli !!!!!! sbi k n nga b c mia

 
At 10:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ooppss,...kulang ung post ko,..c mia c deirdre the miscreant,...hehehe

 
At 7:45 PM, Blogger mae said...

yup its me mia!

 
At 1:33 PM, Blogger balderdash said...

hoy cat, mia...gawin bang tsismisan ang comments section! hahaha.

i was so shocked sa first comment! hahaha!

 
At 1:49 PM, Blogger mia said...

ganyan talaaga kase ang bagal mag load ng pages sa threads

kita mo pati ikaw nakikigulo na dito

 
At 9:50 AM, Anonymous acp said...

oist! mia, anong gusto mo...hotel or pension house?

re: your visit here in cebu.

gem, sensya na...mga chikadora tong kasam mo dito eh...hahhaha!

 
At 4:59 PM, Blogger balderdash said...

^^ oo nga eh...lahat na ginawan nating tambayan: tagboard, igma, pex, YM at ngayon ang comments section ng blog.

 
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